Sheridan’s Blog

I hate this month that seems to go on forever.  And it only has 30 days.  It’s crazy.

 

Anyway, we went to see ‘Death Proof’ by Quentin Tarantino last night at the Clapham Picture House, which is a cute little cinema.  Only about one quarter (or less) of the seats were occupied, so it was nice to be able to spread out a bit.  Not being a Tarantino fan at all, I was hardly struck with rapt attention prior to the movie, but on reflection, I’d have to say that I liked it better than most of his other films.  I haven’t seen them all (and the ones I tried to watch I fell asleep in), so I’m hardly qualified to compare.  But, since I am entitled to an opinion anyhow, I usually think his films are self-indulgent and generally about nothing.  I have my own version of this – it’s called my life, and I don’t charge myself to see it.  I do however, enjoy his cinematography.  It almost doesn’t matter that the movie is bordering on absolute trash because it’s quite lush to watch.  Almost.  But it was an ok movie.  I’d watch it again.  Maybe it’ll get better when I see more of his films and begin to understand them (although I don’t think there is anything to understand).  Maybe that’s the point.

 

Sheridan can’t secure tickets to the Tango show at Sadler’s Wells.  Well, not cheap ones anyhow.

As the time to leave London rapidly approaches, I can’t help but be overwhelmed by various thoughts (and some impulses) pertaining to The Future.  Granted I really didn’t give any thought to this situation when I left to come here – I had other things on my mind.  But now I guess I have to think about it.  Important issues such as ‘Will I live with my boyfriend?’ (a whole pile of other questions surround this one), ‘Where is my car?’ and ‘What am I going to do in terms of a job?’ plague me consistently.  In fact, there has been an unprecedented increase in the level of insecurity I’m experiencing.  And not just about the above issues – about everything.  It seems as the days go on, I am becoming more and more unsure of every event, every action and every reaction.  I was thinking this morning on the way to work about what this might be due to.  Then I saw a dead mouse on the footpath and that distracted me for a bit.  It didn’t look properly dead.  It wasn’t moving or anything, but it was laid out on it’s side like it was asleep.  In peak-hour foot traffic.  Odd.

 Anyway, I came back to thinking about what’s currently going on, and am fairly confident that it has something to do with the notion of change, and how we/I deal with that.  It’s probably more a case of not knowing what’s going to happen, and then realising it’s actually ok to not know what’s going to happen, and it’s even ok to feel completely unsettled by this.  Some days it feels like someone has rapidly ripped the rug out from under my feet, and all of a sudden I go into a semi-panic mode: What happened?!  Did someone move something?  Was I even standing on a rug before??  What’s going on?!?!

Then I try to tell myself that nobody knows exactly what they’re doing (even though they try to look like they do), and it doesn’t matter if there was or was not a rug in existence. 

Not many developments this month, thus far.  Tim had a birthday type arrangement around the start of the month, which was a fairly low-key event.  We will have to make up for this next year perhaps.  I’m fairly surprised we haven’t killed each other yet.  For half the week we barely see each other since I’m at work, and I come home to eat and sleep.  So he has to do everything else (ie – cook, clean, etc) and entertain himself.  The other part of the week I’m home and we’re in each other’s faces 100% of the time.  This seems to work ok for us.  There are certainly times when there may be a degree of snappiness going around, but on the whole we tend to get along swimmingly.  To put a more positive spin on it, most people don’t even get the opportunity to spend that much time with someone else, and they struggle to make time for each other.  At the moment we don’t have to, which is a good thing. 

Work is work.  After almost a year of crazy-house hours, early mornings, late nights, they told me a 9-6, Mon-Fri job was open for me if I wanted it.  I said yes, but now I’m having second thoughts.  I guess I do want to work 9-6 (like the normal people do) but I really like my job and am very fond of talking to the patients and helping them along.  It seems to be one of the few things I’m good at.  But the other job is only for a month or so, and I will probably learn new things, so why not?  Maybe I’ll get to stay up later than 9.30pm some nights!

I am practically itching to get home.  Very much so, particularly before my nephew turns 21 or Darryn’s dog gets old and un-cute (!)  I might change my tune when I’m lying on the beach in Thailand, and I reserve the right to do so when that time comes.

Over the weekend (ie – Monday & Tuesday), financial restrictions led to a significant reduction in the number of available activities. So we went to the famed Notting Hill Carnival. I got the feeling that it’s really designed to be attended with plenty of disposable cash and a whole gang of friends, but it was an experience nonetheless. It was kind of like a weird cross between a street party and being inside a large amplifier. It’s supposed to have a Afro-Carribbean type of feel about it (I think), so there are people selling whistles and brightly-coloured body adornments (?), as well as what I ascertian to be culinary delicacies from these places, such as jerk chicken and corn (in many formats).  There was a big and noisy parade which I gather was supposed to have some kind of Carnivale feel about it (which it did), and the footpaths were lined with hundreds of people with hundreds of cameras.  Thankfully the weather was ace.  We spent some time wandering through the streets, wich were either packed with food stalls or loaded up with multiple speakers blasting out music to the level of distortion.  We went out there fairly early so missed the main crowds (and the stabbings and murders).  But at least we went.

We spent some time in Hyde Park a day or so after.  It’s a big park, and having only seen it on maps (and occasionally out of the bus window), we thought it might be nice to see it properly.  I was a little disappointed.  There’s a nice lake thing in the middle and paths, grass, etc.   We walked around the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain thing as well.  I guess we might be a bit spoiled for choice, living right on Clapham Common, which is a luscious greened area with it’s own little ponds and excellent cafes nearby.  But again, we went there and saw it.

Yesterday we headed in towards the Tate Modern, but had to go past the Imperial War Museum on the way there, and thus ended up in there instead.  Which was a good thing, it’s a pretty cool place.  I think Tim’s already been there, but he seemed ok with going in again.  And it’s free anyway.  They have these 2 massive guns out the front, right amongst a beautiful English rose garden.  I was unable to smell any roses since I have a cold and my face is all puffed up.  But anyhow it was very pleasing to the eye.  Inside, more guns and combat-type equipment.  And little stories about when the guns/etc were used, who by and what for.  Quite the history lesson.  I didn’t take any pictures as I didn’t bring my camera since I thought we were going to the Tate (which I’ve already been to).  But Tim took one or two, which I will try to poach for this site.

Today we appear to be sitting around playing Scrabble on-line.  At present, I am giving Tim a lesson in English, but he’s not far behind and will probably catch up in a few games I suspect.  I guess I will have to stop dumbing myself down for him now.