Sheridan’s Blog

The weekend was an interesting one. I had been eyeing off a show by Diesel (at Crown, and in October), and went to his website to discover he was playing this Saturday. So I got tickets and invited boyfriend, even though out of all the folks I know he was the least likely to enjoy it. Had he not wanted to come I’m sure I wouldn’t have had that much trouble finding someone else. He accepted, and even returned with some kind of counter offer for Friday night – TZU at the HiFi Bar. TZU? I mentioned this to my dance teacher, who agreed that it’s almost as if boyfriend deliberately went in search of a show I would hate. Anyway, on further ponderence of how to handle a hip-hop event, dance teacher suggested that I just ‘drop it like it’s hot’, and followed up with ‘Have you got the correct shoes for that?’ What? Now I need more shoes? I was almost about to suggest popping into Cash Converters to get something appropriate to wear. And I would have had ample time for both new shoes and other. Doors opened around 9pm, and TZU came on around 11.30pm. Now that I’m a grown-up, I spend more time focusing on the important business of the day and less time sitting around talking about nothing. Hence by 11.30pm, I was more in the mood for sleep than a bass section that interrupts the natural beating rhythm of my heart. Cardiac arrests aside, the music was actually ok. I’d almost go as far as saying I nearly enjoyed myself. Had it been a Saturday I may have been inclined to dance. Luckily I didn’t have the correct shoes.

I was looking forward to a bit of a sleep-in the next day. Boyfriend had other ideas. Normally it’s me getting up and demanding attention, but hungry boyfriend would not be enticed to stay in bed, even with the promise of a round of Hangman on the Nokia N95 (in hindsight, I went around this completely the wrong way). I didn’t even have time for a proper shower, such was the pressing need for sustenance.

Being of the old skool era (or maybe just old) Diesel started his show around 9.30pm, giving us all enough time to negotiate 3 flights of stairs with our walking frames. He’s such a gentleman, that Diesel (I might call him Mark). He has muscly forearms. Anyway, he is singing songs and his mic (or the amp connected to same) stops working. This is all well and good in the songs we know, but in the new ones we have no idea how it goes or what the lyrics are so we can’t help. This happened a bit through the night, but the show must go on. We did miss the best parts of ‘One More Time’, but it’s nothing that couldn’t be fixed with a personal serenade (perhaps over dinner and a nice wine and acoustic guitar).

I look forward to the weekends – I get to do whatever I please and nobody bothers me, walks slowly in front of me or asks stupid questions and then is too stupid to understand the answer. So you can imagine how delighted I am when I receive obviously great value offers via my website. Such an offer is highlighted in the text below (some text has been removed to protect I don’t know who):

Don’t you wish you could attract all the most gorgeous women around you each day? Its easier then you think. A few dabs of ‘Sex Me Up’ will have women fighting over you.
Scientifically proven to work- these pheromones have been used for years now to attract women. Don’t be at a disadvantage anymore- pheromones will help any male attract women of all types and ages.
Don’t be left behind! Millions of men are already benefiting from using pheromons to attract women- without them you are at a disadvantage! Don’t let the other guy get the girl, arm yourself with ‘Sex Me Up’ tonight!
If YOU would like to …
- Become a lot more sexually attractive.
- Meet more beautiful women, MUCH more easily.
- Grab the attention and get approached by women far more often.
- Make a fantastic, memorable, compelling impression , every time.
- Increase your self-confidence and masculinity BIG-time… then this may be the most important news you will read all year.

I do question how I have managed without this. I could have been attracting much more female attention. I thought gorgeous women were only attracted to expensive dresses and handbags. How wrong I was.
I’m certain you’ll want some as well. I would normally be sceptical of such extravagant claims as this product spouts, but since it’s ‘scientifically proven’ to work, you can wipe those doubts away right now! I’m not so sure about increasing my masculinity (BIG-time).

6.00 sharp – wake up to shrill door buzzer sounding.
6.07 – heart rate returns to normal.
6.08 – toy with idea of going downstairs in pyjamas to ear-bash the hell out of someone.
6.11 – decide against ear-bashing. Lay awake playing ‘Snakes’ on phone.
7.36 – discover delivery of several magazines (for me) on top of mailbox, hence early-morning buzzing noises.
8.13 – on train. Forgot lunch.
8.27 – face incorrect direction to get off train. Look like moron.
8.29 – get off train and walk in wrong direction (towards wall instead of exit).
9.03 – call Real Estate agent, advising of multiple faults with premises including washing machine and power points malfunctions.
10.11 – receive condescending message from Real Estate Agency informing me how to operate a washing machine.
10.15 – return call to Real Estate Agency, stating my washing machine credentials.
10.17 – declare war on appliances (and Real Estate Agents).
12.34 – harness frustration while waiting in massive queue at McDonald’s.
12.54 – start Big Mac.
12.55 – finish Big Mac.
14.28 – beg colleague to break arm so I can go home early.
14.59 – yawn.
15.07 – arm still intact.

Someone called me a Goddess today at work (about bloody time, too). A shame it was some doctor I’ve never met being so charmed by my allegedly rousing speech about creative appointment-scheduling. I doubt the doctor I double-booked will be as complimentary.

I currently eagerly await the beginning of the twelfth season of ‘The Amazing Race’. I have also been struck by a recent fixation, perhaps even addiction, to pickles/gherkins. Whatever you call them. The ones you get in a cheeseburger at McDonalds, but without the cheeseburger. I have found a way to incorporate them into every meal, except breakfast, since they don’t go so well on crumpets. They have pickle all the time in the US, and I can understand why. Maybe it’s because they look so unappetizing that when you do eventually muster the courage to put one in your mouth, you are overwhelmed by just how good it tastes. And possibly how good the taste is for something that looks like a hairy, mouldy and misshapen mouse. Without a tail (brand-dependent). I popped on over to Aldi the other night and picked up a massive jar for under $2! Life is good again…

I just finished watching the movie ‘Hairspray’, and I have to say it was quite droll. I do enjoy a good musical-movie normally, and I find it completely natural and not at all fake when people unexpectedly break into a highly-choreographed and obviously staged routine. After all, I do this on an almost daily basis (not lying). I have had to back off on the dancing around the photocopier of late due to ankles which keep snapping, but apart from that, I never let a day go by without treating my colleagues to a spontaneous rendition of an uplifting and morally black-and-white ditty in the tearoom. Sometimes I don’t discriminate between staff and patients – why should the fun and free entertainment be limited to staff when a perfectly carpeted waiting room awaits? Although, by the nature of our business, some of the patients have retained little agility (we put them in the back, anyway).

I even put it on. Twice. I won’t be getting it. But if anyone else buys it, can I borrow it at the end of August??

What has happened to Chadstone Shopping centre? I went out there to find a semi-trashy dress and couldn’t find a thing! And they call themselves the ‘fashion’ capital!

You know when you just feel like getting in your car and hitting the road and ending up somewhere you’ve never been before? I’ve got that now. Hours of the same job stretch on into the future and there is little room for variety (crumpet or toast for breakfast?)
I’m not sure whether I want to go back to uni for job reasons or just because I crave something new. Probably a bit of both I suspect. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
I miss my old job.

I have a house now. Well, not really a house – more like a room, with a few smaller rooms attached. And the whole scenario reminded me of the love-hate relationship I have with moving house. It’s all about the excitement of deciding where things go, and buying new furniture and finding the nearest supermarket; then deciding where to put the mail (and where to actually get it from), and the quickest route to work. But it’s also about the carrying multiple bulky items up three flights of stairs, having fifteen different sets of keys and not knowing which ones open what, being unsure about how to actually get to work and WHERE THE HELL IS THE REMOTE???!?! WHERE??? It hasn’t even been one day and I’m already tired of having to get out of bed (I don’t have a couch or any chairs) to turn it off/up. And it was fun times all round yesterday when I felt like I might make a stir-fry for dinner. I don’t have any pans or a wok. I was sad for a while, and then forced to eat unhealthily due to my lack of proper cooking tools. So then I sat on top of my backpack while my arteries hardened due to the unhealthy food and watched whatever was on the ABC.

Having said that, I am very much still in the honeymoon phase. I eat crumbly foods over the sink (or out the window), and try not to dance around too much, lest dust be encouraged to fall about the place. This is also partly out of necessity since I have neither a broom nor a vacuum cleaner. But the place is small enough so I’m not kept awake in the night due to cleaning concerns. (I’m actually kept awake by the refrigerator, of all appliances).