Sheridan’s Blog

The other night saw me watching a dvd from the local VE, the name of which I cannot recall (nor is it important). But the premise of the film has generated much delight. The basic plot involved a woman going overseas and getting engaged to a Scottish man (a Duke, actually. Could happen. Look at Princess Mary…) Anyway, this was followed by a brief run-down of some Scottish wedding traditions, many of which involve the bride drinking or dispensing whisky and cheese. These traditions are simply some of the nicest (and perhaps bizarre) acts ever committed. Apart from marriage itself. It’s not just about the kilt, the tartan, the bagpipes, etc. Here’s one I take particular joy in:

Creeling
The groom is forced/encouraged to carry a large basket (creel) full of stones around the village until his bride comes out of her house and kisses him. This could be hours. Or weeks if he has been unattentive of late. He has to keep carrying it around (probably followed and jeered by his mates) until she does this. I’m not sure of the purpose of this ritual, but it may have something to do with the groom proving himself a worthy man. Or it might just be about torture. Either way, I like it.
The bride’s Taking Out
The bride’s equivalent is much more pleasing. She is dressed up in whatever curtains/etc her friends deem appropriate, and then taken out on the town/village carrying a pot full of salt with her. The bride’s friends herald her arrival by banging on saucepans or other kitchen implements (although in a modern society maybe they brandish battery-powered blenders or food processors). This would probably make for a less noisy arrival. In order to harvest ‘luck’ the bride carries around her pot of salt and exchanges kisses for coins. Whilst this may be seen as a touch prostitutional, I think making money from kisses (prior to the wedding of course) is perfectly harmless.
On further investigation, things get a little more bizarre in the form of incantations, spells and potions (again from Scotland, supposedly):

Two lozenges are taken, covered with perspiration (or other bodily juices) and stuck together. These are then given (in this form) to the one whose love was sought. The eating of such a thing was supposed to illicit a very strong affection. Or, if not that, perhaps a nasty case of hepatitis C.
A bit less crazy, Anglo Saxon dads always gave away one of the brides shoes to the groom, who then hit her on the head with it as a sign that authority had passed from father to husband. If any man (husband or otherwise) hits me on the head with my own shoe, I will force him to eat a lozenge (or two stuck together) soaked in my own sweat.
But the nicest tradition I have come across in my extensive, 4-day internet research spree is that of the Luckenbooth, which seems to date back to the 1600′s. The Luckenbooth is a token of love (typically a brooch or similar trinket), exchanged by lovers at the time of betrothal. Frequently they were inscribed with such words as ‘Of earthly joys thou art my choice’, which is possibly the most romantic thing anyone can ever utter. Sure beats the hell out of ‘You rock’, or even ‘I love you’.
The final part of a traditional Scottish wedding seems to be the Beddan. The bride would attempt to retire for the evening, but as soon as it was noticed she had gone (pretty quickly I’d imagine) guests would race into the bridal chamber to partake in the ceremony of ‘Beddin the Bride’. After the bride was put into bed, she is given a bottle of whisky, some bread and cheese, which she apparently handed around. Then, her left stocking was then taken off (no mention of by whom), and she had to throw it over her left shoulder amongst the guests. It was then fought for by those in the room. The person claiming the stocking was said to be the ‘winner’, and thus the next to be married. Although I’m not sure anyone wants to marry someone carrying around someone else’s dirty smelly stocking.

The other night we did something so bizarre it warrants writing about. Roller Derby. In Reservoir. Not knowing what a roller derby even was (or where Reservoir is), I decided to check it out.
According to various sources, the term ‘roller derby’ dates back as far as the 1920′s, although the format of the event may have evolved with the passing years. Back then, the emphasis was more upon the race aspect, whereas now it seems to be more about how much damage can be inflicted to the opposing team.
A gent by the name of Leo Seltzer is frequently credited with ‘inventing’ the roller derby as it is known today, although pinning down the genuine pioneer of roller-skate racing is difficult.
A roller derby is basically a race on roller skates on a flat surface (originally raced on a banked surface). Two teams (five of each on the track at any given time), race around a modified, smaller rink, often under aliases of a sexual or violent pun, and frequently in costumes which would be more at home on Halloween (or perhaps in an exotic-style lingerie outlet, or on Britney). Four out of five players are ‘blockers’, whilst the fifth skater from each team is the ‘jammer’. The eight blockers skate as a pack around the rink, trying to prevent the jammers of the respective opposing team from getting to the front of the pack. The jammers, of course, are trying to get to the front of the pack, where they will then attempt to ‘lap’ the pack as many times as possible for the next 2 minutes. Every opposing player overtaken is a point for that jammers’ team. That’s the basic rules, anyway. I sense it’s far more complex, and I was already fully engorged with the sheer insanity of it all that I could take in no further information. I await the return of the season in March 2009 to be brought up to speed (quite literally).