Sheridan’s Blog

Whilst walking to work today I came across what can only be described as the scourge of humanity. Interrupting the peace (apart from peak-hour traffic), was a man dawdling around the footpath with a leaf-blower, the most useless and abominable invention. Ever. There he was – engines blasting, smoke fumes drifting, just blowing the leaves from the front of one building to the front of the building next door. Later on, I came across two leaf-blowing men, operating right next to each other. I almost felt like pulling up a patch of grass to watch what must have unfolded later on as they met – one blowing his leaves into the path of the building next door, and the other then blowing them right back again. And I imagine the whole Sisyphean act would continue until one of the men eventually gave up and beat the other to death with his leaf-blower.
What, exactly, is the point of these stupid inventions? Whose path is so blocked by leaves and other light debris that access cannot possibly be granted? Why this fear of dead leaves? They are pretty slippery – I damn nearly fell over when I turned to dart a contemptuous glance at the leaf-blowing man as I stalked away.
Is it not lost on leaf-blowing folk that the leaves will continue to fall from trees and blow around at the mercy of the winds? And that this activity will continue, possibly forever (or until the death of all trees)? It’s not like the leaves are being collected, either – they’re just being blown from one place to another.
Do the people who use these types of devices realise just how useless they really are? Had they stayed in bed and not gotten up to blow the leaves around, their actions would have made NO DIFFERENCE. Stupid leaf men.

Gee, it’s been hot, yeah?