Queenstown 2010
Writing by Sheridan on Saturday, 30 of January , 2010 at 1:02 am
After deciding it was too expensive to go to Europe again this year (that’ll be 2011, then), I decided NZ might be an idea for a short break. Tim was already attending a computer-nerd-type conference in Wellington so I decided to head to Chrstchurch and meet up with him in Queenstown.
There is not a shortage of things to do in Queenstown. You can jump off, out of, through, into and over all kinds of stuff. We sat in the hotel sifting through hundreds of brochures trying to find something to fill in our time. Since I find death and permanent injury unappealing, I am somewhat limited in the activities I employ to entertain me, particularly in Queenstown. Most of the heavily-advertised options involve a distinct chance of death so these were avoided. I happen to believe that jumping out of a plane (a plane at a high altitude, not one sitting on the tarmac) flies in the face of human nature. As does jumping off a cliff or bridge with only elastic tied to your feet. What kind of idiots do these things?
However, since my last visit to town there is a hint of revolution in the air. Someone has upped the ante, so to speak, by making extreme activites more extreme: whatever activity you wish to do, someone, somehow can insert a helicopter into the equation. Want to go to breakfast? Sure thing – a helicopter will hover over the cafe and you can rapel down and eat. Can’t be bothered climbing that big hill with your own leg power? No problems – a pilot will chopper you up so you can get the gondola down. No energy expenditure required. It sounds ridiculous and it is. But the best one we came across (which did sound kind of ace) was the heli-hunting. This is for the really lazy people who also like guns. A helicopter will fly you onto private land where you can shoot at an animal of your choosing. YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HELICOPTER! I await the heli-horsing, where you rapel down from the chopper to horseback (perhaps with a gun or something else remotely cool) and ride on to a winery or something. Perhaps in 2011…
By far the best activity we came across was the downhill mountain biking. Having basically designated mountain bike riders to a group of baggy-short wearing, hairly-legged monsters who can speak only a phrase or two of English (or any language) I wasn’t that keen. And after seeing a few of these clowns out around the place, throwing themselves down hills, I was pretty sure I was going to: a) be really bad at it; and b) possibly sustain serious injuries. I resisted the urge to upgrade my health insurance. The night before the ride I dreamt I had been provided with a track bike (no brakes, no gears) for the ride. Suffice to say I was terrified to my very core.
Yet strangely it was actually really, really, good. Mainly due to the high-quality guide, Mark (who was hot, by the way, in an outdoorsy, flowy kind of fashion). Or maybe I just though he was since it was his advice that was basically preventing me from riding off a cliff (and possibly into a nearby hovering helicopter). It all began innocently enough with a short ride in the minibus out to the mountain. The cool part is that you don’t have to ride up to the summit. How ace it is to have someone drop you off at the top. The guide handed me my bike, which I struggled to hold up due to it’s sheer enormity. Then I tried to ride it, which made me look like a complete muppet. And then we rode off a cliff. After the initial horror of riding down a steep embankment the terror continued. In the early stages I was ready to give up, and I probably would have if the bike hadn’t been so bloody heavy and cumbersome to get on and off of. But after mild coaxing (and less mild peer pressure) I took my hands slightly off the brakes and the bike rolled away with me still on it. These bikes are amazing – they will roll over anything. I’d be disappointed if I couldn’t roll right over a 4WD on one of these. It’s pretty painful for the first few minutes as the thighs adjust to being in a static standing position for a long time, but they soon go numb. The first run down the hill took about 40 minutes and the next was half that time. By the end I was up for another run down the hill and kind of wishing we’d not left it until the last day in town to try this out. I suspect if we hadn’t, a lot of $$ and time may have been spent at Vertigo. These guys will even chopper you to the top of a hill and then let you ride down. And, for a nominated fee, they can also organise the helicopter transport to the hospital, if required. Is there nothing that cannot be made better with the addition of a helicopter???? We will definitely be visiting Vertigo again.
Now, after getting home, eating breakfast, visiting the local bike store and unpacking (in that order), we are plotting when we might be able to do this again. I am also researching to see if there are some new mountain biking words I can slide into my vocabulary, or perhaps some hand signals or something. If you have any suggestions, feel free to forward them along and I’ll try them out. Now I have to have a nap since early morning flights from Christchurch to Melbourne allegedly make me snappy.
Comments (1)
Category: Uncategorized
Comment by Ian
Made Saturday, 30 of January , 2010 at 3:31 am
I’m glad to see you have your priorities in order. Except possibly the bike shop should’ve come ahead of breakfast.
